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Imposter Syndrome is like a tap dance trying to keep up with imagined expectations. There’s a particular rhythm to imposter syndrome. It’s not just doubt—it’s choreography. Clients describe it like an internal tap dance: precise, quick, controlled… and exhausting. Their feet know the steps, yet their mind insists they are one click away from being exposed as an amateur in borrowed shoes. Imposter syndrome isn’t about capability. It’s about the pressure to perform. And coaching becomes the place where clients can finally step out of the routine long enough to breathe, choose, and move in a way that feels like them again.

Every coaching conversation is an invitation—the choice to open it, explore it, or set it aside belongs to the client. Coaching is, at its heart, an invitation. Every question, reflection, or silence is a gentle knock on the door of the client’s awareness. Most days, that door opens easily. On others, the conversation grows quieter. Answers feel thinner. Engagement wanes or shifts. This isn’t a sign of something “wrong” with the client—or the coach. It’s the natural ebb and flow of two human nervous systems navigating something meaningful together. When the coaching connection falters, the work doesn’t stop. In many ways, this is where courageous coaching begins. These moments offer rich information about what the client needs, what feels safe, and what invitation might truly serve them now. ✉️ So how do you coach when the envelope stays sealed, the pile of “mental mail” grows, or the invitation simply doesn’t land? Let’s explore—and rediscover the art of inviting the client back into the conversation.

A coach’s role is to hand over the wheel—letting the client steer their own course. Every coach has been there:  you care so deeply about a client’s progress that, without realizing it, you start steering instead of partnering. You ask thoughtful questions, you chart a smart course… but you’re still the one with your hand on the wheel. It happens quietly. Caring morphs into control. Guiding turns into deciding. The session shifts from co-creation to subtle direction—and the client’s ownership begins to slip away. The ICF Core Competencies remind us that our role is never to captain the ship. Our role is to partner, to check in, to pause often enough to ask: Is this still the voyage you want to take? How Coaches Check In—and Why It Matters Handing over the wheel doesn’t stop once the client names a topic. True partnership means checking the course again and again as the session unfolds.

Each coaching conversation is a song—resonance brings harmony, dissonance brings change. Every coaching session is like a piece of music. Your client arrives with their unique melody—goals, stories, beliefs, and longings. You, the coach, join with a quiet rhythm and steady beat, attuned to the highs, lows, tempo shifts, and unexpected pauses. You listen not only to what is said, but how it vibrates in the space between you. Sometimes, the music flows—clear, alive, and harmonious. This is resonance . Sometimes, the tune falters—off-key, jagged, uncomfortable. This is dissonance . Both are essential to a powerful coaching relationship. Resonance  and dissonance  give a musical piece its emotional arc. Resonance affirms what is true and harmonious; dissonance introduces tension, challenge, or possibility. In coaching, the same is true—moments of resonance signal clarity, while dissonance often cracks open transformation. This article explores how resonance and dissonance play out in coaching conversations, drawing on coaching principles and ICF Core Competencies . Discover how to recognize these musical cues, what they mean, and how to respond skillfully. I’ll share real-life coaching stories and offer practical tools to help you conduct coaching sessions with greater depth, awareness, and artistry.

Coach like a lion with a fierce commitment to the client's life and purpose. As coaches, we talk often about safety—creating an environment where clients feel heard, respected, and free to explore. But the best coaching doesn’t stop at safe. The best coaching is also courageous . At the heart of transformative coaching lies a paradox: the space must be both sanctuary and forge —safe enough for risk, and bold enough for breakthrough . To hold this paradox well, the coach must embody it first. Courage in coaching isn’t loud or aggressive. It’s not about confrontation for its own sake. It’s the willingness to say the thing that needs to be said, to ask the question no one else is asking, and to hold the client's highest potential even when they’ve lost sight of it themselves. In Co-Active Coaching , this is called fierce courage —a commitment to the client’s life and purpose that sometimes asks the coach to risk discomfort, approval, or even the coaching relationship itself. It’s the kind of courage that says: “I care more about your dreams than your comfort in this moment.” “I believe in who you’re becoming, even when you don’t.” “I’m willing to go to the edge with you.” Curious how to coach with both boldness and care? Keep reading for real coaching examples and simple (not easy) practices to grow your own courageous presence.

Like cosmos in a meadow, clients grow in different ways and at different stages—all whole, all part of the same field. Every Co-Active coach is taught the foundational truth: clients are naturally creative, resourceful, and whole .  Yet in practice, they show up with wildly different levels of self-awareness. Some arrive wanting quick fixes. Others are already wrestling with questions of identity and meaning. It’s a bit like standing in a field of pink cosmos. Some flowers are still tight buds, others are half-open, and some are fully spread to the sun. All are part of the same meadow, all are whole, all belong. Coaching is much the same: our role is not to rush a bud open, but to meet each client in the stage of meaning-making that is alive for them now. This is where Robert Kegan ’s theory of adult development helps us see the field differently—not as a ladder to climb, but as a landscape of meaning where each client is growing in their own way.

Growth isn’t linear—it spirals inward and outward, revealing beauty layer by layer. At first glance, coaching may seem like a process rooted in logic—goals, accountability, steps, and outcomes. But human growth doesn’t unfold linearly. It unfurls in layers, like petals of a flower or spirals in a seashell. That’s where metaphor becomes a powerful tool. Metaphors speak the language of the subconscious. They allow clients to express things they may not yet fully understand with words. They bypass logic and awaken emotion, intuition, creativity, and clarity. When a metaphor lands, you can feel it: the client lights up. Their language gets richer. They lean in, literally and figuratively. In the sections that follow, we’ll unfurl the use of metaphor together—exploring how to recognize, invite, and deepen these powerful images in your coaching conversations. 🐚 What Are Metaphors—and How Do We Listen for Them? A metaphor is a figure of speech that describes one thing by referring to something else. It’s not just flowery language—it’s how we make sense of abstract or complex experiences through concrete images. Think of common phrases like: “I’m carrying the weight of the world.” “I hit a wall.” “She’s at a crossroads.” “It’s like I’m swimming upstream.” These phrases compress emotion, cognition, and story into vivid language that conveys meaning far more effectively than explanation alone. In coaching, metaphors often surface spontaneously in the client’s language. Other times, coaches can gently invite metaphor as a creative pathway to new awareness. The key is presence and attunement—recognizing the moment when metaphor can open a door that rational problem-solving can’t.

Shifting the lens changes what comes into view—and what becomes possible. Every client arrives with a perspective—a way of seeing shaped by experience, emotion, and meaning-making. It’s the mental camera through which they interpret life. Over time, that familiar lens can feel less like a viewpoint and more like the  view—so taken-for-granted it’s mistaken for truth. But a perspective is not reality. It’s a filter. When we take a perspective, we adopt assumptions , make predictions, and construct meaning. We look through it, and what doesn’t match that lens becomes invisible or invalid. For instance, a client who sees themselves as “always behind” will subconsciously scan for evidence to reinforce that story, dismissing any moments of success or progress. Over time, those familiar thought loops start to settle in—like grooves the mind keeps tracing. What once helped us cope becomes the frame that keeps us confined. Clients often say it feels like being boxed in, running out of options, or looking at life from behind glass. One of the most profound gifts a coach offers is perspective . Not a solution. Not advice. But a new vantage point—one that invites the client to see beyond the current storyline and into possibility. This is the essence of Evokes Awareness .

Four doorways—each one shapes the choices we can make in coaching conversations and beyond. Every day, we make choices—about who we are, how we show up, and what possibilities we step into or close off. In coaching, these choices are often shaped by four influences: limiting beliefs, saboteurs, assumptions, and perspectives. Think of each as a doorway. They’re related, but not identical. One might look locked, another barges open, a third is fogged, and the last keeps revolving. Each leads the coaching conversation down a different path of meaning and possibility. The artistry is in noticing which threshold you and your client are crossing—and remembering that whatever the entry, it all comes back to choice .

Assumptions blur the picture. Like missing pixels in an image, they distort clarity until we pause and look closer. At first glance, an image on your screen looks crisp and complete. But zoom in, and you find tiny gaps your mind has already filled. From a distance, it passes as truth; up close, you realize parts of the picture were never really there. That’s how assumptions work in coaching. They’re the missing pixels in a client’s mental image — and sometimes in our own. Left unexamined, they distort perspective and narrow what’s possible. Once noticed, they bring clarity and open space for new ways of seeing. To work skillfully with assumptions, it helps to understand how they form and how they differ from the other distortions that blur our view. From that place of awareness, we can explore ways to bring assumptions into focus — in our clients and in ourselves.