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Like cosmos in a meadow, clients grow in different ways and at different stages—all whole, all part of the same field. Every Co-Active coach is taught the foundational truth: clients are naturally creative, resourceful, and whole .  Yet in practice, they show up with wildly different levels of self-awareness. Some arrive wanting quick fixes. Others are already wrestling with questions of identity and meaning. It’s a bit like standing in a field of pink cosmos. Some flowers are still tight buds, others are half-open, and some are fully spread to the sun. All are part of the same meadow, all are whole, all belong. Coaching is much the same: our role is not to rush a bud open, but to meet each client in the stage of meaning-making that is alive for them now. This is where Robert Kegan ’s theory of adult development helps us see the field differently—not as a ladder to climb, but as a landscape of meaning where each client is growing in their own way.

Shifting the lens changes what comes into view—and what becomes possible. Every client arrives with a perspective—a way of seeing shaped by experience, emotion, and meaning-making. It’s the mental camera through which they interpret life. Over time, that familiar lens can feel less like a viewpoint and more like the  view—so taken-for-granted it’s mistaken for truth. But a perspective is not reality. It’s a filter. When we take a perspective, we adopt assumptions , make predictions, and construct meaning. We look through it, and what doesn’t match that lens becomes invisible or invalid. For instance, a client who sees themselves as “always behind” will subconsciously scan for evidence to reinforce that story, dismissing any moments of success or progress. Over time, those familiar thought loops start to settle in—like grooves the mind keeps tracing. What once helped us cope becomes the frame that keeps us confined. Clients often say it feels like being boxed in, running out of options, or looking at life from behind glass. One of the most profound gifts a coach offers is perspective . Not a solution. Not advice. But a new vantage point—one that invites the client to see beyond the current storyline and into possibility. This is the essence of Evokes Awareness .

Four doorways—each one shapes the choices we can make in coaching conversations and beyond. Every day, we make choices—about who we are, how we show up, and what possibilities we step into or close off. In coaching, these choices are often shaped by four influences: limiting beliefs, saboteurs, assumptions, and perspectives. Think of each as a doorway. They’re related, but not identical. One might look locked, another barges open, a third is fogged, and the last keeps revolving. Each leads the coaching conversation down a different path of meaning and possibility. The artistry is in noticing which threshold you and your client are crossing—and remembering that whatever the entry, it all comes back to choice .

Assumptions blur the picture. Like missing pixels in an image, they distort clarity until we pause and look closer. At first glance, an image on your screen looks crisp and complete. But zoom in, and you find tiny gaps your mind has already filled. From a distance, it passes as truth; up close, you realize parts of the picture were never really there. That’s how assumptions work in coaching. They’re the missing pixels in a client’s mental image — and sometimes in our own. Left unexamined, they distort perspective and narrow what’s possible. Once noticed, they bring clarity and open space for new ways of seeing. To work skillfully with assumptions, it helps to understand how they form and how they differ from the other distortions that blur our view. From that place of awareness, we can explore ways to bring assumptions into focus — in our clients and in ourselves.

When values clash, presence is the tone that keeps the partnership in tune. Every coach eventually meets this inner edge: What do I do when a client’s values clash with my own? Maybe your client celebrates “tough love” leadership while you prize kindness. Maybe they equate success with domination, while you define it as collaboration. Or perhaps, as one coach recently wondered, “How would I coach an executive who boasts about bringing staff to tears during performance reviews—and feels proud of it?” This question is not about them. It’s about us—the coaches—and how we hold our seat when empathy meets dissonance. The Tuning Fork of Presence Imagine yourself as a tuning fork. When your client strikes a note that clashes with your own frequency, you feel the vibration. It’s the sound of awareness—not agreement or disagreement. The art of coaching isn’t to mute the vibration but to notice it without letting it distort how you are showing up in the session. Presence is the stabilizing tone that keeps you from reacting to dissonance. It’s what allows you to stay with  the client, even when their worldview clashes with yours.

Like the lotus, emotional well-being rises through life’s murky waters—steady, rooted, and full of quiet strength. A lotus doesn’t wait for perfect water. It roots in the mud, rises through murk, and blooms anyway—clean, luminous, alive. Emotional well-being grows the same way. It isn’t the absence of stress or struggle; it’s the quiet strength that lets you find balance even when life feels cloudy. The petals open not because the world is calm, but because the roots are steady. True well-being is cultivated, not caught. It’s a daily tending of thoughts, habits, and relationships—a living system of renewal. This post is a pause to gather what you’ve grown so far in the Emotional Intelligence Series , to strengthen the roots that keep you blooming even when the waters get murky.

Purpose doesn’t strike once—it lights up your path over time. Let’s talk about one of the most loaded questions out there: “What’s your life purpose?” Cue the existential dread. Cue the sneaky suspicion that everyone else got a cosmic memo you somehow missed. Here’s the truth: Your purpose isn’t a job title, a perfectly crafted mission statement, or a thunderbolt of destiny. It’s not a fixed destination you’re supposed to arrive at once and for all. It’s a through-line —a pattern of meaning that runs through everything you do. Something you live into, not figure out. And guess what? You’re not behind. You’re not broken. You’re not lazy. If you haven’t “nailed your purpose” yet, you’re in excellent company. If you’ve ever wondered whether purpose is something you’re supposed to chase, choose, or already know, keep reading. You’re probably closer than you think. ⚡

Your values are your spine—the structure that keeps you standing tall when life bends and twists. Let’s be honest: “core values” can sound like something from a company handbook collecting dust on a shelf. Words like integrity  and excellence  that nobody actually lives by but everyone feels obligated to list. But when we’re talking about personal fulfillment—the kind that grounds you, guides you, and helps you stand tall through the noise? Core values are everything. They’re the internal compass behind every decision you make (or avoid), every boundary you set (or don’t), and every goal that lights you up (or leaves you cold).

Where thought and feeling meet, wisdom begins. In a world powered by deadlines, data, and doing more with less, one advantage quietly outperforms them all: the ability to navigate emotion — your own and others’ — with clarity, empathy, and intention. That’s emotional intelligence , also known as your emotional quotient (EQ). And in our increasingly complex, connected, and yes—stressful—world, it’s more than a “nice-to-have.” It’s the foundation of strong leadership, healthy teams, and long-term resilience. Whether you're leading a company, mentoring clients, managing a classroom, or simply wanting to show up more powerfully in your own life—EQ is the skill that supports every other skill you’ve got. This article is your on-ramp to understanding and applying emotional intelligence using the EQ-i 2.0 ® model —a scientifically validated framework trusted by coaches, educators, and Fortune 500 leaders worldwide.

Emotional intelligence starts with one brave look in the mirror. If emotional intelligence were a building, Self-Perception  would be the foundation. But unlike bricks and concrete, this foundation is personal. It’s built through self-awareness, self-respect, and a commitment to your internal truth. Think of it like standing in front of a mirror—not to fix what’s out of place, but to see what’s true . Do you know this person? Do you trust them? Are you showing up for them? Self-perception is the intersection of clarity and compassion. It’s the ongoing practice of knowing your emotions, accepting who you are, and pursuing what matters most. It’s not always comfortable—but it’s essential. This article in the Emotional Intelligence Series explores what self-perception really means and why it matters in everyday life.