Coaching When Values Collide: How to Stay Present and Curious
- Cindy Hosea
- Nov 3
- 4 min read
Every coach eventually meets this inner edge: What do I do when a client’s values clash with my own?
Maybe your client celebrates “tough love” leadership while you prize kindness. Maybe they equate success with domination, while you define it as collaboration. Or perhaps, as one coach recently wondered, “How would I coach an executive who boasts about bringing staff to tears during performance reviews—and feels proud of it?”
This question is not about them.
It’s about us—the coaches—and how we hold our seat when empathy meets dissonance.
The Tuning Fork of Presence
Imagine yourself as a tuning fork.
When your client strikes a note that clashes with your own frequency, you feel the vibration. It’s the sound of awareness—not agreement or disagreement. The art of coaching isn’t to mute the vibration but to notice it without letting it distort how you are showing up in the session.
Presence is the stabilizing tone that keeps you from reacting to dissonance. It’s what allows you to stay with the client, even when their worldview clashes with yours.
